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not the work

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  • user warning: Table 'cache_filter' is marked as crashed and should be repaired query: UPDATE cache_filter SET data = '<p>Several people have said the most useful piece of the <a title=\"Official Loud Love event\" href=\"http://loudlove.org/\" target=\"_blank\">Loud Love</a> event was the transparency tools workshop.   i was powerfully reminded that while the tools are useful, what appears to be really happening is that people are longing to be asked these revealing questions.  With the smallest opportunity most people will share deep feelings and vulnerable information about themselves, even with people they dont know very well.</p>\n<p>We have re-started the transparency group at Acorn.  There were a few people excited about it and a number of people who showed up when it happened who seemed to like it.  My original thought was that we should try to fuse Acorns more festive culture with this tool set and instead of having the classical, slightly formal transparency discussions.  We should have transparency parties, where the format is more relaxed, less full group oriented and more smaller conversations.  Distracting food and drink could be part of it as well.</p>\n<p><a href=\"http://paxus.files.wordpress.com/2013/06/picsasso-girl-in-mirror.jpg\"><img class=\" wp-image-13883 \" alt=\"Picasso\'s girl in the mirror\" src=\"http://paxus.files.wordpress.com/2013/06/picsasso-girl-in-mirror.jpg?w=363&amp;h=450\" width=\"363\" height=\"450\" /></a><br />\n</p><p class=\"wp-caption-text\">Picasso’s girl before a mirror</p>\n<p>Instead, at the first Acorn transparency event this year, we stuck to a more conventional format, with the group in a circle and a single person revealing themselves to everyone using several <a title=\"This blog transparency tools list\" href=\"http://funologist.org/2010/12/27/liberal-transparency/\" target=\"_blank\">different tool sets</a>.  And i was blown away again.</p>\n', created = 1371530371, expire = 1371616771, headers = '', serialized = 0 WHERE cid = '3:eec343b01362d659c6c6422356f34349' in /home/thefec/htdocs/includes/cache.inc on line 109.
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  • user warning: Table 'cache_filter' is marked as crashed and should be repaired query: UPDATE cache_filter SET data = '<p>Scabies sucks, but it was fun when people got excited about applying each other’s permethrin and the subsequent “prolonged skin-to-skin contact” parties we’re now green lighted to have.</p>\n<p>And having strep is not fun, but it’s nice that I don’t worry about losing my job/money/childcare/house because I’ve gotten sick and need to stay in bed for a couple days.  And people will bring me food.</p>\n<p>So maybe intentional community breaks even.  We infect each other with every transmissible ailment, but then we take care of each other while people get back to normal.</p>\n<p>Cue inspirational music.</p>\n<p> <a rel=\"nofollow\" href=\"http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gocomments/runninginzk.wordpress.com/629/\"><img alt=\"\" border=\"0\" src=\"http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/comments/runninginzk.wordpress.com/629/\" /></a> <img alt=\"\" border=\"0\" src=\"http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=runninginzk.wordpress.com&amp;blog=51640857&amp;post=629&amp;subd=runninginzk&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" /></p>\n', created = 1371530371, expire = 1371616771, headers = '', serialized = 0 WHERE cid = '3:ecef4d3a4c260902733e7beecb9958ad' in /home/thefec/htdocs/includes/cache.inc on line 109.
Submitted by Paxus on Fri, 02/04/2011 - 00:01
in

Natal’ja is sad.  She is sick and cant help around the commune and she feels uncomfortable not doing any work/quota for the housing and food she is receiving.

Natal’ja is Hawina’s best friend visiting from the Netherlands.  A gifted graphic designer and a soft enchanting personality.  I fell in love with her almost immediately when we met 15 years ago. She is visiting for a month.

Our conversation got a bit animated, i tried to explain that her presence and value to us is far more than just the work she does while she is with us. The support she provides for Hawina, the contribution she makes to the social atmosphere in Ta Chai (the residence she is staying in) and even the work she does which she does not count, like cleaning the bathroom is all important and valued by us.  I point out that when members of the community are sick, we take self determined sick hours until we are ready to work again. 

She is not buying any of this. The Calvinist inspired Dutch work ethic runs deep in her and she was reluctant to embrace these mushy contributions.  If she is not making hammocks or doing some other type of highly valued work, she will be worried that she is not carrying herweight .

When i sent her this post to read, a week had passed by and she admits she is understanding on a deeper level what i’ve shared with her. That despite being raised in a culture that emphasizes productivity, there are many ways we support and nurture our communities, that making a friend smile is as beneficial to the community as making a hammock.