Hard Break

i have this friend, i’ll call him Morgan, and he lied to me.

This was not one of those little white lies which are rumored to cause no harm.  This was a big, ugly lie which resulted in me getting furious with people who were completely innocent of any wrong doing and almost permanently damaging other relationships which were already frayed.

and good luck

This is a friend who i had helped out in a couple of  jams and someone who on more than one occasion had been there for me as well.  This is what friends do for each other.  And Sara felt like i had been enabling some of Morgan’s bad behavior, i can see this.

When i was getting upset with Morgan during this hard break up yesterday, saying that i did not want to talk with him again and did not want him to ask me for help again, it was physically hurting me.  i hate this.  And i can’t make it work with someone who is not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes and instead is trying to blame others.

So what is the take away (so i am not just complaining)?  i am not exactly sure.  Perhaps it is about being more sensitive to relationships becoming imbalanced – where i am giving much more to it than my friend.  Perhaps it is about listening to my intimates counsel on the quality of the character of people they are critical of.  I am still figuring this out. And still hurting.