December is Postcards
When i was much younger i thought i had stumbled upon a clever universal truth – women like getting flowers. But when i gave some roses to Anissa, she informed me that cut flowers were not at all her thing and if i wanted to go pick wild flowers, especially with her, she was down with that – but otherwise she did not want to participate in this commodification of affection.
i’ve sent something over 200 cards and letters on this trip (which has been less than 80 days so far). Most of these are to my slightly dizzying array of romantic intimates current and past. Many of these are postcards to people in my hundred person commune. i dont have a relationship with everyone at Twin Oaks that warrants a post card, but i do with perhaps 2/3rds the people there [if you have not gotten one yet, be aware that about 30 are completed in my hands or in the post].
And while not everyone likes cut flowers (actually a minority of my current intimates do – tho wild flowers are the new universal), i have yet to have anyone say “Hey Pax, please dont send me a postcard again.” Perhaps it will happen, but given the nearly unanimous positive and enthusiastic response to people getting often unexpected mail, I will keep writing them.
The trick is to make them all different, to pen something worth reading, to make them all personal. Which i think i do a reasonable job at this (tho i got a couple of complaints about my letters sent from jail a couple years back – and i was in a grayer mood then). Traveling on a budget has made me aware of the international postage expense of this habit which has been mounting, so when Corb went back to the US i gave him a bunch to mail domestically and distribute. And i recently sent a bulk package of cards to Cloud who agreed to distribute them to Twin Oaks and Acorn for me.
Like throwing a pizza dough, shooting a bow and arrow or overthrowing corrupt regimes, the more you do, the easier it gets. Even for people who i only know minimally in the commune, but none the less i like, i have things to say to them. Stealing from our validation day tradition, i can tell them something i appreciate about what they do culturally or for mutual friends. The image on the front of the postcard will generally spark a unique conversation – why i chose it for them, what it might mean or why i think they might like it.
My recommendation to you comes straight from the Honest Seduction love letter class. Think for a few moments about someone who you really appreciate that you believe likely does not really know this because you have not expressed it sufficiently to them. This could be an old friend or mentor, a relative or romantic partner, or simply some inspiring person. Then spend a few minutes writing them about how they have positively influenced your life and then send it. Dont fall into the trap of “oh i cant say all the wonderful things i need to tell them, so i will write nothing”. It will almost certainly make them happy to receive your sentiments, it will likely increase their appreciation and respect for you. Remember postcards are a pretty small commitment, because they are so short. And it is certainly (in my never humble opinion) a better use of your time than watching another YouTube video or spending more time on Facebook (where even brilliant people send vapid happy birthday greetings instead).
If you want a letter or card from me, send me an interesting question and an address, if i dont already have it.
We can bring back letter writing, and be better off for it.